Today was the best of days.

Last Sunday was my 38^th birthday. Once upon a time I thought getting this close to 40 would be terrifying, but as I etch closer to it, I find myself more excited about it.

Anyway, I digress. Back to my birthday. Last week was my birthday, but I spent the entire day sick in bed with tonsillitis. Those who know me well enough know I am well acquainted with tonsillitis. The day my parents told the ENT specialist that they wouldn’t remove my tonsils was the worst day of my life. As a result, they sentenced me to a life of pain and torture. No other words have been truer in describing something (can you tell I’m one for dramatic effect haha). So to say my birthday was awful, is an understatement.

Lucky, husband and I had previously planned to celebrate my birthday (just the two of us) the following weekend. This being today. I would love to say that I was feeling better, but I somehow have a sore throat again after only 2 days of relief, but that wasn’t going to stop me. I needed this. Nelson needed this. Our relationship needed this.

We needed sleep again. We needed to be reset. We needed a recharge. We needed vitamin D. We needed uninterrupted us time. And we got it.

I wish I could say I feel so recharged and so much better. I don’t really. But I do feel (mentally) refreshed, despite having no sleep due to the sore throat. This was slightly depressing because it was undeniably, the one thing I was looking forward to the most.

Regardless though, the day was almost perfect. It was filled with all the things I love the most. The heat, the beach, the ocean, reading and my first love (Nelson lol).

We left the girls with my parents and set off for the beach. I spent the entire morning spelling out the word B E A C H so Ariya wouldn’t catch on to the fact we were going to the beach without her haha. Poor kid. She loves it just as much as her mum does. But I’m no amateur when it comes to parenting. I made sure I bought just enough activities and surprises for her to use at my parents, to incite her excitement about being left behind.

I complain about it most days, but I know it’s a blessing; the fact my kids are so attached to me and only want me. I know it’s a good problem to have, but in saying that, I was also beyond desperate to be rid of them for 24 hours. Other stay at home mums will viscerally understand this predicament haha. Well, any mum to be frank.

Eva on the other hand, despite being attached to my hip (literally. The kid holds onto my pants everywhere I go) had no idea she was being left behind, nor did she seem to care. The upside to having grandparents she adores almost as much as her own parents.

So off we went. Being alone in the car just the two of us, is always strange. I catch myself staring in the rear-view mirror instinctively every 60 seconds only to be reminded there are no babies back there, that we are in fact alone. It’s both thrilling and stressful. Every mother knows the feeling. You’re so excited to be alone again, yet every single possible scenario runs through your mind and try as you might, switching your parent brain off is a near impossible task. Did I call my mum 4 times in the space of an hour. I neither confirm or deny. That’s the burden of parenthood. You’re never really off the clock.

Once we got to the beach, it felt like old times. We had a single bag and pop up cabana. I completely forgot the concept of going to the beach with minimal items.

Going to the beach with kids is like packing for an overseas holiday. We pack the equivalent of a 23kg check in luggage. Although, with all the equipment we now need for the beach, it’s definitely heavier than 23kgs. You’ve got the cabana, the baby seat, toddler camping chair, 2 x beach chairs, a picnic rug for under the cabana, 4 x towels, beach bucket equipped with shovel and spade, a freezer bag full of food including but not limited to fruit, drinks, rolls, snacks, chips, toddler food, toddler snacks and baby bottles. Not to mention the beach wagon we use to carry this all in. Plus the two kids. To say a couple of hours at the beach with the kids in an expedition, is putting it lightly.

When we were packing just for the two of us today, we literally had a single bag used between us, and the cabana. It. Was. Heaven.

After helping Nelson set up the cabana, all I had to do was lather my body with sunscreen and R E L A X. How was this real? We kept asking ourselves this all day. This was our life once upon a time. Life before kids. God we took it for granted. If there was one thing I could tell my past pre children self is this; make the most of your freedom, because it’s rare you get these moments again.

We spent the afternoon laying on the sand, reading (me), youtube (for Nelson), swimming, laying in the water TOGETHER without children tugging at us or taking our attention away from each other, and just enjoying the quiet. Oh man was it quiet. I forgot how euphoric the tranquillity of silence is. It was perfect and everything I wanted and needed.

We then had plans later that evening for dinner at 8pm. Who even are we?! Considering our usual bed time is 9pm these days, this was extravagant of us.

Again, we forgot what it was like to eat a meal alone, and enjoy it. I recently saw a tik tok reel (on Instagram, because lets be honest, this millennial is not that social media savvy) about parenthood and eating out. It described two types of parents, the one that eats her food cold because she’s busy distracting the children first, and the parent that speed eats so they can take over from said parent. It couldn’t be a truer description of our experiences eating out with the kids. So to actually enjoy a meal at the temperature it is meant to be eaten at, felt like pure indulgence.

What was the best part for me though was being able to have quality time with Nelson, where I had his undivided attention, and he mine.

We underestimate how much we need that from each other. It’s like getting back to basics and resetting ourselves. Chatting about everything yet nothing at the same time. Laughing at each others ridiculousness. It alone was elating. Tapping back into our love and desire for each other. Him being able to touch me and hold me without kids pulling at us. Feeling like our old loved up selves when we first met. It was bliss. I wish we could be like that everyday, but alas, life takes over. But remembering that, getting back to it so naturally when we’re alone, it was revitalising.

To sum it all up, today was the best of days.

This is excerpt 5.